The COVID-19 Virus Has Tested Positive For Pauline Hanson

Pauline Hanson with a green tinge on a yellow background, surrounding by microbe emojis

Actual sickness to society Pauline Hanson has to take a break from infecting the public with her nasty bigotry because it turns out, she’s contracted COVID-19. Or rather, the virus has contracted her.

The grubby gremlin herself confirmed the news to Kyle and Jackie O in a cringe interview where they fawned over how loved she is by locals. Yeah, wish I was joking.

“I’m up to shit,” Pauline Hanson charmingly told KIIS radio when asked how she is. Which actually doesn’t make sense but maybe expecting a coherent sentence is too much.

“I’ve got COVID.”

Mind you, she said this while hacking out huge, cantankerous, earth-shaking coughs between each word. Seems like divine intervention to protect us from her bullshit if you ask me. But apparently not even the universe’s magic can get this woman to shut the fuck up.

“I travel the five states around the whole of Australia campaigning but I go to the most locked-down state, last week, to Western Australia, and I got it,” she continued. The five states… whole of Australia… dear lord.

And no, she didn’t explain how she could possibly know the exact location she acquired COVID considering she’s been touring the nation and the virus can take several days to show symptoms. But when has she ever been a friend of facts, right?

Pauline also confirmed that she is still unvaccinated 5eva and plans to stay that way.

“I’ve told you that before, I’m not getting vaccinated,”she insisted.

“Guess what? I haven’t been in hospital, I’m still kicking, I’m alive, I’m fine.

“Anyway, it’s all good, it’s like I’ve had a heavy cold.”

Um, judging the ear-splitting, stomach-churning decibel of the evil coughs ripping out of her while she was on the radio, I have to say, I do not think she is fine. As for being alive, I have to say, the ghoulish vibes don’t agree.

But hey, maybe all this hacking will expel the racism out of her.