Old Mate Who Shamed You For Eating Avo Wants To Turn Collingwood Into Vegas

Fucken christ, can this bloke just piss off forever or what?
Tim Gurner, man who possesses way too good a surname for who he actually is, is the bloke you might remember as he who bashed millennials for eating too many avo breakfasts and that being the thing that’s preventing anyone from buying a house. Not, y’know, the ungodly competitive market or the skyrocketing prices or the stagnating wages or the legislation that hugely favours boomer investors over first home buyers or anything like that. It’s the avo. The avo’s to blame.
Gurner’s unspeakably bad take was so horrendous that it actually managed to escape the usually insular confines of Australian media, and wound up making headlines around the world.
Despite this, Gurner – the man who apparently took a photo of Eric Trump into a salon and promptly instructed the hairdresser to fuck him right up – remains well and truly on his own shit.
Gurner’s property development firm has unveiled plans for a 14-storey, garish-lookin’, casino-style building that they hope to build on a site bordering Victoria Parade and Wellington Street in the increasingly trendy inner-Melbourne suburb of Collingwood.
An artist’s impression of the building shows off a Caesar’s Palace-lookin’ ass building that sticks out like the proverbial sore thumb in amongst the area’s otherwise industrial-style buildings.
fucken yuck.
Though Gurner and his firm insist the building will become instantly “iconic,” a Yarra City Council member has a much blunter assessment of the proposal.
Councillor Steve Jolly did not mince any words in describing the proposal with these choice words:

“It’s a bogan, sparkling white, Las Vegas building Photoshopped onto a map of Collingwood.”

Cop THAT. Jolly went further in assessing the absurdity and almost spiteful nature of the building’s design, particularly in relation to nearby heritage-protected structures.

“[It] seems to go out of its way to disrespect the neighbourhood – its highest point is precisely next to the most significant heritage buildings on the street.”
Gurner’s proposal isn’t the first time he’s run into issues while trying to put his weird-headed mark on Melbourne’s inner-north; a 16-storey apartment proposal on Queen’s Parade in Fitzroy North had the kibosh put on it when state Planning Minister Richard Wynne put a 10-storey limit on his plans.
The Collingwood region is a hug of gentrification at the present time; a far cry from its days as a veritable slum. The industrial, factory-style buildings that line inner-Collingwood streets are being snapped up at a rate of knots and converted into highly sought-after apartment living. But Gurner’s planned building defies most, if not all of, the suburb’s aesthetic.
But the real bottom line here is that Collingwood already has a casino, Tim Gurner you tool. It’s called the Punter’s Palace on Smith Street and it’s awful.

Source: The Age.
Photo: Supplied.