There are plenty of acceptable places to shit: the toilet, dense bushland, a diaper if you’re under the age of three.

One place it’s certainly *not* kosher to drop your guts is on public transport, where the nostrils of fellow commuters are assaulted with whatever your bowel is throwing out.

Aisha Dow, a Fairfax reporter, was horrified to discover a steaming turd on a Melbourne Metro Trains train travelling from Laverton on Tuesday morning.

It was heavy enough to weigh down a pull-down seat prioritised for disabled passengers which, though foul, is somewhat impressive.

She later posted a video of an unidentified hero performing a public service by throwing tissues over the unsightly faeces.

Metro Trains replied to Dow’s tweet asking which carriage she was in, so the mess could be cleaned up before it ruined anyone else’s commute.

She didn’t know though, so make sure you look before you sit lest you live to regret it.

Ok, Who Dropped Their Guts On This Melbourne Train?

Photo: Twitter / @aishamae.