NSW Health would like you to know that compassionate reasons to visit another person in lockdown do not include, ahem, booty calls. Which was not something I expected a government health body to have to tell us, but we love the clarity.

In a post on social media, NSW Health reminded everyone of what they mean when they say ‘compassionate reasons’ to leave your house – and specifically, that getting a random weekend root is not covered as an essential practice under public health orders. Tragic.

“Compassionate reasons does NOT include meeting up with a stranger you’ve met on a dating app,” they said on social media (followed by a fkn peach emoji, no less).

“Keep your dates online and spread love, not COVID.”

I can’t decide if NSW Health poking fun at random booty calls makes us the darkest or best timeline, but I’m enjoying it anyway.

NSW Health went on to say that compassionate reasons to leave your home do include “visiting a person you are in a relationship with but do not live with” and that if you live alone, you can bubble up with a buddy.

This is probably a good time to clarify that there is a legitimate difference between what classifies as an intimate partner, a single bubble buddy, and a hook-up.

PEDESTRIAN.TV actually spoke to a lawyer about all the rules since things are pretty confusing, and we learned that for your relationship with an intimate partner to be covered under public health orders, it probably needs to meet some if not all of the following criteria:

  • Relationship to the exclusion of all others.
  • A degree of commitment towards a shared life.
  • The way the partners would present to the world at large.

You can read more about the specifics here but the point is, your casual Grindr/Hinge/Tinder hook-up can wait till after lockdown ends.