The lives of athletes are opaque to me. A humble nerd, I have never strode a green field in a uniform and pressed my body against the bodies of others in an attempt to best my fellow man. I know not of the esoteric rituals of “training” or “going to the gym”.
But I know enough, friend, to know dark magic when I see it. And this – this is dark fucking magic.
Stepping over you haters like🤚🏽 pic.twitter.com/RDbyl8ywlf
— tez (@thecvmevp) August 18, 2017
WHAT IS THAT!!!!!
You can’t tell me that this bloke’s admittedly hefty sporting prowess has suddenly bestowed upon him the ability to make air solid upon a whim, and yet here we are, looking at exactly that. It’s uncanny and I don’t trust it and I need someone to come cast a circle of salt around me and then immediately teach me how the hell to do that.
At least I’m not the only one freaking out about it.
https://twitter.com/Zyphree_/status/934557034598383616
He sold his soul
— osman. (@limbolivin) November 26, 2017
Excuse me pic.twitter.com/sUn2WPxJWr
— jj (@Janaaalj) September 4, 2017
Me trying to attempt this pic.twitter.com/PuhYr9pzX4
— D.Ross (@d_ross4) August 20, 2017
I actually believe we’re in a simulation and this was a glitch, GOODBYE https://t.co/E3IcliGguS
— Arrow 🌺 (@nonbinarygoddex) November 26, 2017
Bitch did he just defy gravity https://t.co/EpKPO79XWS
— antonio (@antoniodelotero) November 26, 2017
— Samantha Fuhr (@samfuhr13) August 29, 2017
https://twitter.com/Bvbe_v/status/935009089179881472
If you’re wondering if, despite my admitted physical puniness, I tried to do the invisible step trick immediately after seeing this video: yes. Yes I did. And while it appears to be merely a matter of keeping your foot still while you hop forward with the other foot, IT IS NOT FUCKEN EASY.
https://twitter.com/jennnnatkins/status/899657284665712645
Wow, Katie did even better than him 😱 pic.twitter.com/TBujba7vZ7
— kenz (@KenzieMarone) August 20, 2017
https://twitter.com/arimariec/status/934827120798453760
https://twitter.com/dddeexo/status/934838960425234432
I’m just gonna come out and say it: this whole invisible step business is Satanic. If this were a couple hundred years ago, that guy would 100% be a damn witch. A WITCH I SAY.
(Please teach me how to do it, thanks.)
