In every federal election, there are two types of TV coverage: the ABC with Antony Green, and literally everyone else. Green’s graphs and psephological knowledge is basically unbeatable for anyone who actually cares about this shit, so the commercial networks need to do their bit to try and drag eyeballs away from the national broadcaster.
As I covered earlier in the campaign, the pinnacle for me was the 2007 election, when Nine deployed THE SHREDDER, a machine which ate candidates and MPs as they lost their seats. I demanded it return in no uncertain terms.
Despite my pleas, Nine has not brought The Shredder back. They have tried something new: Julie Bishop‘s famous red heel, kicking candidates as they lose their seat. This is like legit RoboCop areas to me. We’re too far into the looking glass.
Introducing the ‘Bish Boot’. Tonight, we’re using Julie Bishop’s iconic red heel to boot politicians out of office as they lose their seats. #9News pic.twitter.com/x8lbgiUlex
— 9News Australia (@9NewsAUS) May 18, 2019
(To add to the spectacle Julie Bishop is actually present to see her own big 3D shoe kicking people.)
We’re in for a long night. We may see Tony Abbott get ‘Bish Booted’. Think on that.