We’ve Predicted The Next Big Iso Trends, ‘Coz There’s Only So Much Shit Pottery To Be Made

There’s only so many TV shows and movies we can watch in isolation, so people have turned to kitschy hobbies and learning new skills to pass the time.

But even though there’s shit all to do right now, as humans, we naturally get bored very easily, so the puzzle / planting / pottery craze is likely to fizzle out soon and in its place, a bunch of other random hobbies will appear.

Here’s what I reckon will be all the rage next:

Knitting

Everyone appears to be embracing their inner nana, what with the pottery, gardening and puzzles, so with winter on the way, we’re sure to be reaching for yarn and knitting needles in no time.

Whether you wanna craft yourself a stylish woollen scarf or crochet a blanket that can be worn during those Netflix and chill evenings, knitting is bound to make a comeback soon.

Plus with nothing but time and a lot of people out of work, it’d probably be a good idea to knit scarves for our loved ones as Chrissy gifts.

Finsta

I bet you’ve already posted selfies from literally every single angle and now all that’s remaining is your ass and you don’t feel comfortable showing it after all the banana bread you’ve shovelled into your trap during iso.

Well, in case ya didn’t know, all the kids these days are creating what’s called a finsta a.k.a. a fake Insta.

NZ singer Lorde once got busted for having a finsta where she rated onion rings across the globe, newly preggo supermodel Gigi Hadid has an account separate to her main page where she posts disposable camera pics, and I, Matt Galea, have a page full of Charmed quotes called No Context Charmed Ones for die-hard fans to enjoy:

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9azJaihzWk/

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9a2b_Ph66g/

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-B1E2XBmKI/

Cheese making

As we elevate to a more advanced level of our iso selves, we’re likely to be in search of something far more challenging (especially with MasterChef taking over the airwaves and inspiring us to up our culinary prowess).

So which cooking craze will be next after banana bread, I wonder?

I was on the horn to my mama earlier today day and she was telling me how a Maltese cooking FB page she’s part of has been encouraging folks to make their own cheese from home to A) Pass the time, B) Create a delicious snack and C) Embrace their Maltese roots (cheese belongs to many traditions so you could suss out whichever one pertains to your heritage and impress your ‘rents / grandparents).

Gaze into ~heaven~ with me and cry (Photo credit: Maryann Galea)

Here’s an excellent article about cheese-making for beginners, to get you started.

The mystical arts

Everyone’s on a mission to up-skill in iso and I love this for us, but for some people, cooking, gardening and making clay pots just isn’t a vibe.

When times are tough, I’ve always found that witchy games always bring good energy as they offer reassurance, or at the very least, a form of escapism.

That’s why I, the resident mystic man at P.TV, launched a series called Isolation Manifestation where each week, I write about a different witchy skill.

I’ve done tarot reading 101, so you can learn to use that deck you or your hippy housemate no doubt owns (or you can purchase a deck online), and a beginner’s guide to palm reading, which requires zero online orders ‘coz we all have palms lel.

Stay tuned ‘coz there’ll be a new one each week to help you manifest those posi vibes and live your best Stevie Nicks life in iso.

Friendship bracelets

As isolation laws start to loosen up in certain parts of the country, you’ll no longer be restricted to seeing the same faces 24/7.

SO, why not cement the time spent with your iso buddies (all the tears shed, the movies watched, the banana breads baked etc) by crafting friendship bracelets, just like ya did in high school.

If you’re unable to visit any fam or friends, how about making jewellery that you can post to them so you can wear them in unison and couple dress in your Zoom calls?

Colouring books

Remember the great colouring book craze of 2017, when it became socially acceptable for adults to spend their free time doodling?

Don’t laugh – it got started ‘coz legit studies proved that colouring-in for as little as 10 minutes a day would result in “definite mental health gains for adults,” according to psychology researchers at the University of Otago in New Zealand.

The study, published in the Creativity Research Journal, found the unusual past-time could potentially be used as an accessible and cheap self-help tool to manage some symptoms of poor mental health.

Thanks to this discovery, loads of adult colouring books started popping up everywhere, from the much-loved Enchanted Forest to George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones colouring book.

Photo albums and scrapbooks

With the birth of social media came the death of photo albums and nowadays the only pics you see printed out are polaroids.

Well, I reckon folks will be ripping those polaroids off their wall tout de suite, dabbing them with glue and sticking them into the photo albums and scrapbooks they’ll soon be putting together.

Social media isn’t totally useless in this exercise, though, as you can jump onto your page, find the pics where you and your gang look the hottest and print them out.

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