It might be patronising to say this but: New Zealand is so adorable it sickens me to the very pit of my guts. While I contend that NZ is a magical fairyland populated by adorably accented caricatures of Australians who only know how to be lovely to each other all the time, a Kiwi might suggest that no, they’re actually a fully developed nation with their own history, nuances, issues, and identity.

If that’s true, explain this: if you’re not an adorable cartoon nation, then how come the whole country (including the PM) is doing a Secret Santa together? That’s what I bloody thought.

Presumably made possible by the fact that New Zealand has a population of around 27 and every single house is within walking distance of each other, New Zealand Post is facilitating a gift exchange between every Kiwi over 16 with a Twitter account and a will to spread some good cheer.

Newly elected prime minister Jacinda Ardern tweeted yesterday that one lucky Kiwi would be receiving a gift from her and, accordingly, one probably quite anxious Kiwi would be sending her a gift in turn:

So you may have noticed I don’t tweet especially often (I just lurk) but as a ridiculous lover of Christmas, I couldn’t miss the chance to join the [NZ Secret Santa] movement. Registration ends tomorrow so feel free to join in my over the top Christmas cheer.

Can’t imagine this would work here, where there’s a near 100% chance that whoever was PM at the time would receive a lovingly boxed and wrapped Australian-made turd.

The rules are pretty straightforward: you sign up with your Twitter handle, you get given an address and a corresponding Twitter handle, and then you figure out what to buy someone based on their many, many hashtagged tweets about reality TV shows.

If by any chance you’re a Kiwi and you want to get on board with this: sorry for being so condescending about your ridiculous country, you’ve still got time to sign up right here.

Image: Getty Images / Hannah Peters