Refusing to bring any of his own from home after finding his new senatorial seat to have been cleared out of any fucks to give, newly installed Senator, and person whose last name you’ll need to learn to pronounce as of today, David Leyonhjelm (Ley-on-hu-yelm I think) has gone on the front foot on the hotly debated subject of Marriage Equality in Australia in glorious fashion. The Liberal Democratic Party senator (not to be confused with the Democratic Liberal Party, the People’s Front of Judea, or the Judean People’s Front) slammed both current Liberal Party policy, and Labor Party inaction on the subject, whilst declaring intention to take matters into his own hands.
Speaking to reporters, Leyonhjelm – pictured above wearing glasses broing down hard with his new Senatorial homies
Nick Xenophon and
Bob Day – lit the Parliamentary equivalent of a red flare, lit a cigar off it before charging into the chamber armed to the teeth with grit and legislative ammunition like he was Senator John Rambo, stating “
I’ve heard many parliamentarians say over the years that they’re here to make a difference. Today I’m challenging them to prove it.
To those who support these principles but are not going to support us, I ask, ‘well what are you doing here?’“
Moving specifically onto the topic of Marriage Equality, which Prime Minister
Tony Abbott at one time described as the “
fashion of the moment,” Senator Badass slammed the current legislative policy thusly: “
It is not the job of the government to define relationships.
In fact the day will come when we look back on the role of government to grant marriage certificates based on gender as the bizarre misappropriation of power that it is.”
And then he moved on to squarely challenge the current major party crop, “
I challenge Mr Shorten and Labor Party members to look Senator Wong in the eye and tell her she does not deserve equal rights.
Today I challenge Mr Abbott and Liberal Party members to do the same with Mr Abbott’s sister.”
BOOM.
‘Course it’s well worth remembering that the Liberal Democratic party is only able to put a senator in office because of its similar name to the Liberal party which shrewdly capitalised on the predicted laziness of voters. And that Leyonhjelm himself is a traditional libertarian who wants the role of Government rolled back to a minimum, will vote down any and all tax that comes through the Senate, and is a staunchly pro-gun advocate who at one time was a member of the Shooters and Fishers party.
So, y’know. He’s pretty much Ron Swanson.
Photo: Stefan Postles via Getty Images
