New Report Details How Supremely Fkd Sydney Would Be If Huge Blackouts Hit

A new report from some superhero-sounding ass group called the Energy Security Taskforce released today reckons Sydney would turn into some kind of dystopic nightmare hell city for days if the kind of state-wide blackouts that hit South Australia last year occurred in NSW.

Us, two minutes in to the black out apocalypse.

The horrifying EST report says that due in large part to “significant gaps in knowledge preparation and planning for black system events” a state-wide series of blackouts like the ones that fucked up Adelaide and surrounds in September 2016 after massive storms, would leave Sydney pitch-black for days with transport and hospital services completely screwed.

Up to 10,000 commuters, for examps, would be stuck underground and sweltering in the decades-old metal coffins that are most of the Sydney trains, requiring emergency evacuation. Which, I mean, fuck. I’ve feared for my life on a train that had to wait for 5 mins outside Central once so I can’t imagine the Lord of the Flies-esque scenario that would be a system-wide underground shutdown.

Surface-level chaos would also be nutso, with the CBD no doubt suffering widespread traffic gridlocks (what like there’s a time when it’s not?) that would impede emergency services, fuel shortages galore and possibly even literal human shit flowing through the streets due to sewage plants overflowing.

 This but with heaps more poop.

State hospitals would be some of the worst affected as well in the event of blackouts lasting more than 6 hours, with all elective surgeries canned, air-conditioning cut and food services ceasing.

The good news? Soz there isn’t any, as even after power was restored to NSW’s main generators, Sydney would be the last to come online, due to being far away on the coast and the pissweak speed of our underground electrical cables.

The report does state that this kind of event is “highly unlikely” with the only comparable incident in our history being an overnight blackout in the winter of 1964.

So I’m sure we’ll be fine. It’s not like the climate is changing across the globe increasing the likelihood of natural disasters or anything…

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