Nat Geo Follows Up On That Homewrecking Vid With Proof Penguins Are Cooked

A couple of days back, National Geographic broke our hearts with a relationship drama of tiny, feathered proportions. 

We watched as a hard-working husband penguin pitter-pattered his way to the family home, only to find wifey tucked away with some other bloke. The resulting beat-up was brutal – they clobbered each other with their lil’ baseball bat flippers – but watching the female penguin choose the homewrecker was the heaviest blow of all.

It was a totally unexpected foray into the world of penguin infidelity, but apparently that ain’t even the worst of it. In a follow-up article to that instantly-legendary clip, Nat Geo outlines how most penguins remain monogamous throughout their cute and cuddly lives, but “when it goes wrong, it can get bloody.”

Although penguin “divorce” – their word, not ours – only equates to 26% of all separations between penguin couples, when penguins buck the monogamous trend, they get absolutely wild. The esteemed publication even notes “scientists have observed female penguins turning to prostitution to help build their nests, offering themselves to male penguins in exchange for rocks.”

It gets even crazier, though. Describing a turn of events you’d expect to see in a lit new Zola saga, Nat Geo says “the females will occasionally take their payment and run, failing to complete the mating ritual with the new male and running back to their nests with their rocky prize once they have made their offer.”

And you thought homewrecking was the worst of it. 

Penguins. Who the fuck would have thought.