The lives of literally dozens, maybe even two dozen Hobartians [it’s a thing; look it up] have been changed forever following a close encounter with a mysterious beam of light which reportedly fell to Earth from the sky yesterday, taking only photos and leaving only footprints in the form of an almost-perfect circle of charred earth and a burning list of questions.

The ABC are reporting in remarkable Slow News Sunday News that early yesterday morning Hobart authorities received a number of calls from the alert yet not alarmed residents of Carnegie Street, Claremont – a small but welcoming community – all of whom were reported to have seen “a bright beam of light” fall from the sky and land with the hollow thud of a newly-birthed mystery (or a foal) in a paddock nearby.
Tasmanian Fire Service officer, Scott Vinen, said the glittering blaze was promptly extinguished, leaving in its place an “obvious burnt patch” and a number of baffling questions, the answers to which we will never truly know.

“Once we put the fire out, we kind of walked through the fire and tried to find something,” said Officer Vinen.

“We thought a flare or something may have landed there, but we couldn’t find any cause.” [Emphasis added]

The absence of any once-airborne, now earth-bound physical evidence raises a number of questions, including ‘Have you ever seen such a thing?;’ ‘Are we alone in this life, in this universe?‘ and ‘Did you know Cat Power is playing at MONA next weekend?‘ Also, ‘Youths, with their Katy Perry and their fireworks, amirite?

Previously in Scientific Shrapnel, a flaming meteor danced its way across the azure skies of Central Russia but two weeks ago, taking leave from its tiresome journey through the universe and landing with a sonic boom in the Chelyabinsk region.

Meanwhile, back in Hobart, the local Fire Service says it will not investigate the incident further.

This is a job for Science now.