The lives of literally dozens, maybe even two dozen Hobartians [it’s a thing; look it up] have been changed forever following a close encounter with a mysterious beam of light which reportedly fell to Earth from the sky yesterday, taking only photos and leaving only footprints in the form of an almost-perfect circle of charred earth and a burning list of questions.
“Once we put the fire out, we kind of walked through the fire and tried to find something,” said Officer Vinen.
“We thought a flare or something may have landed there, but we couldn’t find any cause.” [Emphasis added]
The absence of any once-airborne, now earth-bound physical evidence raises a number of questions, including ‘Have you ever seen such a thing?;’ ‘Are we alone in this life, in this universe?‘ and ‘Did you know Cat Power is playing at MONA next weekend?‘ Also, ‘Youths, with their Katy Perry and their fireworks, amirite?‘
Meanwhile, back in Hobart, the local Fire Service says it will not investigate the incident further.