Things have not been going so well for fast-talking New York banker Anthony Scaramucci. He was fired from his job as Trump‘s White House communications director after just ten days, his wife divorced him, and – worst of all – he’s been subject to more memes than one man ought to in his lifetime.
We know you crave hot Mooch content, so here’s a little more for you. According to Axios, the new political news startup which has been good at scoring juicy little tidbits about what’s going on around Washington, Scaramucci had a really interesting little anecdote for White House staffers who might be considering leaking to the press.
In true Mooch form, it very much could have been recited by a bit-part character on The Sopranos:
Mooch rail[ed] against leakers in a communications staff meeting. He said: “Let me tell you a story. You probably don’t know this about me but I used to own an ice-cream shop.” He proceeds to tell a story about how he suspected the guy who was managing the shop was stealing money from the cash register. Mooch told the staff that for a week, he stuffed the drawer with extra money to prove the guy was stealing. He said the moral of the story was: “I always find out.” Then someone asked what happened to the guy. Mooch replied that the guy was married to a family member and that he let him go because he’s got a big heart like President Trump. “It’s kinda like here,” he said, “I may end up firing all of you, but I’ll help you find a job somewhere else.”
Let that be a lesson to you all, folks: do not steal ice cream from Anthony Scaramucci. He will find you, and he will kill you. Or fire you. Or something.