Billions of years into the future, when the Earth‘s disappearing magnetic field has seen the oceans evaporated and its surface scorched clean of all life, only one thing will remain: Melbourne‘s Montague Street Bridge. Long after the memory of mankind has been erased from the universe, that bloodthirsty, monstrous bridge will perch alone on a barren wasteland, hungering for the blood of trucks that it so craves.
Something is fundamentally wrong with this bridge. Obviously, the reasonable assumption would be that the something that’s wrong with it pertains to its design, but I’m positing that the thing wrong with it is moral – the Montague Street Bridge is evil and demands blood sacrifice.
Did someone put the brain of a murderer in its foundations? Was its concrete mixed with werewolf blood? Was it opened the exact moment that a serial killer died? I assume all the people that could answer these questions have themselves been killed, to cover up the bridge’s dark secret.
All we know is that it has claimed its first victim of 2017, somehow managing to keep on taking the lives of trucks and buses despite repeated attempts to address the problems. Even the addition of noisy and extremely visible height-warning gantries can’t stop people from fuelling its insane bloodlust.
The accident was spotted by Brad Feehan, who said it was his first time seeing a Montague Street bridge crash. Congratulations Brad, you have witnessed one of the most beautiful and monstrous things in the natural kingdom.
The unofficial “official” Twitter account for the Montague Street Bridge reckons it’s the bridge’s 110th victim, truly this bridge belongs in some sort of “superjail”.
Paging, Jerk 110 to Montague Street? Jerk 110 to Montague Steeet? Jerk 110! pic.twitter.com/np7aokdzjr
— Montague St Bridge (@MontagueStBridg) January 17, 2017
The bridge must be stopped.
Source: The Age.
Photo: Instagram / Brad Feehan.