The Montague St Bridge’s Vile, Truck-Thirsty Influence Is Now Spreading To Nearby Bridges

So much is unknown about Monty, Melbourne’s vile and loathsome Montague St Bridge. Erstwhile we have seen naught but wanton carnage from a beast whose hunger knows no limit. But perhaps that has been the mere tip of the iceberg; phase one in a much deeper and more layered plan. And its one that may be blossoming before our very eyes today. Not content to simply sit and wait for an errant truck to enter its mighty maw, Monty’s influence is now spreading to nearby bridges. And thanks to one such incident today, we may be seeing the first evidence of his grand plan: To force trucks into other bridges so as to create a funnel leading directly to him. Monty, it seems, has learned to hunt.

Just before 11am this morning, a truck slammed into the City Road light rail underpass in South Melbourne; a rail bridge that, crucially, lies just 700 metres from the site of the Montague St Bridge.

Photos from the scene show a semi-trailer just about sheathed in twain after ramming into the low bridge, which blocked off traffic for several hours afterwards.

But the real wrinkle in the tale, and what might be a terrifying glimpse into Monty’s expansive playbook, came shortly afterwards.

VicTraffic officials attending the scene were forced to issue warnings to motorists in the area, encouraging them not only to avoid the scene, but to use Montague St instead.

Perhaps now we are only beginning to understand and appreciate the whole of Monty. A bridge whose might is not just physical, but cerebral as well.

What manner of beast can forge a path of destruction so vile and bloody, yet so deftly herd fresh victims t’wards its cursed mouth.

Though evidence is thin that this was naught but a cunning trap, Victorian officials refuse to speak to the contrary. And the bridge itself has issued a cunning deflection as an official response.

That is exactly the kind of thing the bridge would say if it was, indeed, responsible.

If, perchance, Monty is only now beginning to play her full, and many-feathered, hand, then it is a dark, dark day indeed for all Melburnains.

The bridge is evolving its patterns of attack at alarming speeds. If we do not raise our defences to match? Doom. Doom for all.