Where the bloody hell is Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt when you need ’em?

A cold front that swept over Melbourne this afternoon brought with it a band of heavy rain, hail, and thunder that not only saw the temperature drop 5 degrees in around an hour (in winter, the time when we have the least amount of degrees to spare) but saw a kinda spooky-lookin’ mate rear its head as well.

A gnarly looking funnel cloud appeared in skies over the outer-western are of Melton, sending storm watchers scrambling for cameras as it hovered menacingly overhead.

The cloud, which didn’t touch down on the ground to become a full-blown tornado, was confirmed by the Bureau of Meteorology, who were quick to point out that it did not cause any damage on the ground.

BoM forecaster Beren Bradshaw explained the whole thing thusly:

“The funnel is caused by rotations in the upper atmosphere, that’s all it is. At this time of the year it’s a fairly common occurrence.”

Which is all well and good for some, but I on the other hand have seen ‘Twister‘ (1996) and know exactly how this all begins. One minute you’re passing off funnel clouds as mere common occurrences, the next minute I’m getting mad on the side of the road because my science balls weren’t getting hurled into the air in between trying to sign divorce papers with my spunky ex-wife so I can marry a safe, non-storm chaser reproductive therapist type. I’VE SEEN IT HAPPEN BEFORE, BUREAU.

Regardless, the photos from the cloud are fkn spectacular, to say the least.


Melbourne is scheduled to cop all sorts of rain over the coming days, as winter clings on for dear life.

FUNNEL CLOUD 2016: WE WILL REBUILD.

Photo: Vic Storm Chasers/Facebook.