Bloody hell, Melbourne, that was an absolute cracker of a storm last night, wasn’t it? The city’s woken up this morning to the aftermath of the hectic weather, with a massive amount of damage stretching right across the city and surrounds.

Sirens have been ringing out all morning as shitloads of calls are made to emergency services, and the VicEmergency app is lighting up like a Christmas tree with over 1500 incidents popping up across the south-east of the state.

melbourne storm weather vic emergency app
Looks good!!!!

Suburbs are without power, trees have been splintered or uprooted completely, the Yarra River is flooding, houses and cars are fucked, windows have blown in, and bins have yeeted down the street.

As is custom following a freak storm, everyone’s posting their damages online so we may all share in the abject horror people woke up to this morning, the day of our big release from months of staying inside. It’s a bit rude of nature to pull this shit when we’re finally allowed back outside, forcing us to stay inside again, to be completely honest.

After a peruse around the internet this morning, here are some of the best – and most alarming – photos and videos from the big blowout overnight. I know we’re home to the Melbourne Storm, the rugby team, but this Melbourne storm was something else entirely.

Bet there’s a lot of people who have woken up to a rogue trampoline in their backyards today – a classic of the Big Storm genre.

Oh god, imagine stopping off for a quick piss and then suddenly you’re on your back in a portaloo at Edinburgh Gardens. I simply cannot think of anything worse.

Happy end of restrictions, Melbourne. Go safely and maybe don’t leave the house until it’s absolutely necessary, yeah? And make sure that if you see any powerlines down, treat them like they’re live – because they probably are.

Image: Twitter / @DeanLawry