Melbourne Has Another Maniacal Truck-Eating Bridge & The City Is Doomed

By

Cam Tyeson

Published

In a truly terrifying development that should chill every Melburnian to the bone, it would appear that the city’s plague of bloodthirsty bridges is not merely confined to the ferocious Montague St Bridge.
Folks, there is a new terror stalking the high-roofed vehicles of Melbourne. And this morning it has claimed its newest victim.
The monstrous Napier Street Bridge, nestled in an otherwise unsuspecting part of Footscray, brutally took its latest victim as a bloody sacrifice this morning in a show of might and force that has sent villagers scrambling for cover. Just as the prophecy foretold.
A shade after 8:30am this morning a truck struck the roof of the bridge – which has a 4.0m clearance – pushing the shipping container it was carrying off the back of the carrier. The container then subsequently struck a car that was following behind. Miraculously, no one was injured. Which surely wouldn’t have pleased the ravenous beast.

Curiously, the driver of the truck apparently didn’t bother to stick around and attend to pesky details like “clearing that shipping container they were carrying off the road.” Shortly after the accident, the driver has reportedly done the Harold Holt from the scene, driving off in the cab leaving the driver of the car behind to stand by the container and wait for authorities.

Interestingly, the bridge reportedly has a higher hit-rate than the almighty Montague St Bridge, largely due to Napier St’s location on a major truck route leading to Melbourne’s ports.
And yes, in case you were wondering, it does indeed have its own sentient Twitter account.

The bridge was closed a mere handful of weeks ago to install protection beams that cost the Government a pretty $600,000. Unfortunately for Daniel Andrews‘ valiant war against the bridge plague that is threatening to consume the city whole, no amount of money can save people from themselves.

We have bravely stood opposed to the Murderous Bridge for many a-moon. But now they are multiplying. And we, quite clearly, are fucked.

Source: Herald Sun.
Photo: Maribyrnong Truck Action Group/Twitter.

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