The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, have kept goss about their imminent baby to an absolute minimum – much to the angst of keen bean royal folk like myself.
But finally, after months of radio silence on the matter, we finally got a little morsel of exciting scoop last month. During a public appearance in Merseyside, Meghan revealed that she’s about six months along and that her due date is in late April.
That’s two months away peeps. TWO. But with only a matter of weeks left between now and the bub’s arrival, we’re still in the dark about its gender and name. Rest assured the latter will probs be some old fart’s name from the days of yore (see: George, Charlotte and Louis) so that’s probably not going to be too exciting IMO, but there you go.
As a result, we’ve funnelled all our excitement into whether the new royal is gonna be a tiny prince or princess (and before you ask, no, I don’t care that Meghan and Harry’s kids technically won’t be princes/princesses, I’m still calling them that).
[jwplayer njeA9gWg]
But figuring out what Meghan’s gonna have is like the ultimate mystery.
For starters, the biggest obstacle is that there’s very little evidence available but, when you combine that with crazy conspiracy theories and wayyy too much time on your hands, you end up with the perfect storm for utter nonsense to thrive.
So the only thing to do in a situation like this is to get balls-deep in anything even vaguely related and, using our vivid imagination, embark on a wildly speculative, albeit brief, ride. So, without further ado, here we goooooo!
Exhibit A: Suss-coloured bags
Overnight Meghan made headlines as she arrived at New York‘s famous Mark Hotel in New York‘s Upper East Side for an intimate baby shower with a handful of her closest friends.
Guests included Serena Williams, Amal Clooney, Jessica Mulroney (Meghan’s best mate and stylist), Misha Nonoo (the woman who it’s believed set Meghan and Harry up on their blind date) and her former Suits co-star, Abigail Spencer.
While many arrived with discreetly, or at least neutrally, packaged gifts, Abigail rocked up carrying a blue floral bag stuffed with blue tissue paper:
Meghan Markle’ former Suits co-star Abigail Spencer (Scottie) arrived at s baby shower with presents wrapped in blue. Has she wrecked the surprise? Is it a red herring? Are they messing with us? Am I overthinking this? (Yes) pic.twitter.com/JMBri8Qbxk
— Lucy Thackray (@LucyThack) February 19, 2019
Lol, good one mate. Like, I’m personally thankful for this potential cock-up, but I’m not sure Megs and Harry feel the same way to be honest.
As though that wasn’t enough of a hint, Abigail did pretty much the same thing again, but the second time around made a slight effort to put the blue-wrapped gift inside a brown bag (pics here).
Abigail, however, wasn’t the only one arriving with presents begging to be overanalysed, with a couple of other peeps carrying baby blue bags in tow:
Meghan Markle’s baby shower: Abigail Spencer arrives at NYC hotel https://t.co/8ouW8fTZ9b pic.twitter.com/uQohzISGsx
— Siglov Freudivan (@DerangedRadio) February 19, 2019
Exhibit B: Flowers galore
Here to throw us off the (already-faint) scent is the shit tonne of pink roses and warm-hued tulips, which were seen being taken into the hotel’s foyer:
Does Meghan Markle’s pink baby shower decor mean she’s having a girl? https://t.co/nL1nzieQHU pic.twitter.com/oADJvkb8Ta
— Siglov Freudivan (@DerangedRadio) February 20, 2019
Side note: presents just the goddamn best, hey? They just little bundles of joy, more than any spawn, looking all pretty and exciting.
Anywhoo, while the pinky flower delivery could be taken as a sign that Meghan’s having a little girl, the hotel has since revealed that the florals were part of general hotel sprucing.
A-HA! A lead. FINALLY.
And lookee here – whaddaya see on this rack?
https://twitter.com/vandornv/status/1098009452085739520
BLUE FLOWERS. Ain’t nobody decorating their hotel with blue roses because, put simply, they’re ugly as shit.
These can only be a gift – I’m convinced.
Whilst Meghan and Harry have previously said that they have no idea what the gender of their baby is, I’m definitely sceptical:
In summation, with almost zero evidence at our disposal, I’ve managed to convince myself they’re having a boy.
