Police Arrest Man Suspiciously Covered In Pasta Sauce For Meatball Theft

You might think that just anyone can be a policeman, that all it takes is a willingness to disproportionately use force against minorities in the pursuit of enforcing often completely arbitrary laws with punitive measures that further entrench criminal behaviour without alleviating the socioeconomic and mental health factors tend to lead to them. You would be absolutely wrong to do so, as demonstrated by the incredible detective work displayed by the fine officers of the Luzerne County Police Department in Pennsylvania.

According to the AP, a man in Hazle Township, Pennsylvania reported to police that he had had a big pot of meatballs stolen from his garage. When speaking to police, he mentioned that he had seen a man (later identified as 48-year-old Leahman Glenn Robert Potter) standing on the street outside his house with a “red sauce” on his face and clothes. Upon investigation, police found the empty pot on the street near the victim’s house.

Using their incredible deductive powers, police were able to connect the dots and subsequently placed Potter under arrest on Monday local time for burglary, criminal trespass, and theft by unlawful taking.

Why would someone steal a pot of meatballs? Why would someone be cooking up what seems to be a personal quantity of meatballs in their garage? There are so many questions to which we will never know the answer. But at least we know that justice was served.