Who needs Bean Dad entertainment when you have two mates rescuing a naked fugitive while fishing in the waterways near Darwin? Not me!
Set the scene: it was a Sunday afternoon, Cam Faust and Kevin Joiner were laying crab traps up north in East Point, when they heard someone yelling for help.
“We heard this faint like ‘ahhh, ahhhh’ – [I said] to me mate ‘is that guy saying help?’ so we got a bit closer and I said ‘I can see you’,” Faust told 9News on Tuesday.
Lo and behold, there was a naked man covered in mud in the branches.
The mates thought the naked man was taking the piss, but when they got a better look at him, they realised just how beat up he was.
“Completely naked, cuts all over him, swollen feet, covered in mud,” Faust said.
The man in question is Luke Voskresensky, who told the friends that he had gotten stuck after getting lost on the way to a New Year’s Eve party.
Even though they were very fairly suss about Voskresensky, Faust and Joiner welcomed him onto their tinny, gave him a beer, Faust gave him his shorts (because Joiner didn’t have any jocks on), they brought him back to town, and then called an ambulance.
It wasn’t until Faust tried to visit Voskresensky in hospital did he learn just why Voskresensky ended up clinging to branches over croc-infested waters.
The truth? Voskresensky was on an arrest warrant for allegedly breaching bail over an armed robbery.
He allegedly broke free of his ankle bracelet before legging it.
How he ended up where he did is beyond me. Not to mention, his clothes.
Anywho, Faust and Joiner hopped on The Today Show this morning to chat more about their experience.
Apparently, Voskresensky used his clothes for “bits and pieces” along the way – whatever that means. He also made a bloody nest in the tree and lived off snails until he was rescued.
Oh, in case you were wondering, they never ended up visiting Voskresensky in hospital.
“We were gonna go visit him in hospital and then we found that [arrest warrant] out, so we thought ‘we might give that one a miss, ay?’”
What a yarn, tell ya what.
When these legends found an alleged fugitive naked, clinging to mangroves in crocodile-infested waters in the Northern Territory, they did what any Aussie would do… pulled him onto their tinny, gave him a pair of pants, and cracked open a cold one for him! #9Today pic.twitter.com/061lY09V6r
— The Today Show (@TheTodayShow) January 5, 2021
Unsurprisingly, “naked fugitive” has made its way into headlines around the world.