Sydney’s Marrickville Metro Got An Upgrade & Now A Young Anthony Albanese Can Watch You Shit

Albo in Marrickville Metro

Beloved Sydney shopping centre Marrickville Metro has just undergone a $142 million expansion complete with over 40 new stores, futuristic video displays, funky new artworks and… a giant portrait of Labor leader Anthony Albanese watching over you while you shit.

It’s not just any Albo, either. The picture in question is a strapping, young Anthony Albanese from 1985.

His glazed eyes project across the stall, his natural pout appears supple as ever, his International Youth Year t-shit is covered by a sanitary disposal bin, and there’s a single earring poking out on the right-hand side of the image. Just the thing to ward off bathroom anxiety, hey.

Surely the architects were taking the piss, one might think. Well, in fact, it is us who will ultimately be taking the piss. Behold:

Honestly, this time the People’s Republic of Grayndler has taken the cult of Albo (who isn’t even that woke!) way too far.

It’s as if Marrickville Metro wants to remind you at every waking (and pissing, and shitting) moment that you’re very much in the bowels of the Inner West. And the result is utterly grotesque.

We’ve seen the beers, we’ve seen the weird newspaper front pages, and we’ve even had to put up with the pretense of whatever ‘DJ Albo’ is supposed to be.

But having a giant, pop-art effijy of the leader of the Labor Party watching over you while you squeeze out a piping hot turd is way beyond the pale, even for the Inner West.

Giant portraits do not belong in public toilets! Even more so when they’re of major political leaders!! It’s cursed!!!

The only upside here is that – depending on the state the toilet stall is left in – this might just become the Inner West’s hottest new selfie spot.

Catch you lot outside the piss-stained Albo mural.