“Hyde Park will be strewn with the bodies of drunken teenagers. 13, 14 and 15 year old children, celebrating watching and participating in forms of sex they can’t understand.” I can’t even understand that sentence. And with assumptions as paranoid as that, it’s hard to consider The Christian Democrat Party’s Sydney candidate Peter Madden as anything but a hate-mongering right-wing lunatic. Denouncing the “moral depravity” of Sydney’s annual Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in a seven minute Youtube rant dubbed “Heal Our Land: Stand for Righteousness” (NOT A COLBERT REPORT GAG), the former sex addict has launched a crusade to cleanse Australia of its apparent homosexual “darkness”.

Aside from insinuating that diggers fought for heterosexuality and calling the Mardi Gras organization a “militant homosexual lobby”, Madden unveiled plans for his anti-gay Stand For Righteousness Rally – to take place in Martin Place at 6pm, March 5th – the same date as Mardi Gras’ marquee parade through Oxford Street. He calls it a “peaceful non confrontational prayer and worship rally to do spiritual battle against the darkness that is rising.” The darkness that is rising? If you address other humans like they’re wild orcs in a Tolkien novel you’re clearly a bigot and you need to shut the fuck up immediately.

Secondly it’s 2011 in a secular western society so that video makes you look borderline insane. Most people agree (35 likes vs 1057 dislikes) including Channel [V] presenter Danny Clayton who has organized a protest steeped in love to combat Madden’s hypocritical hate-fest. Dubbed The One Love, Love In. (Pash Party Protest) Clayton has organized a pro-gay counter event which he hopes will promote tolerance and love. As he explains on the event’s Facebook page: “I pose that we organise the largest PROTEST KISS the world has ever seen. I’m calling on my gay and lesbian friends but MOST importantly I am after my fellow HETEROSEXUALS that are brave enough to make a stand and kiss someone of the same gender. It will take bravery for an Aussie blokes to kiss another bloke but think how terrifying it must be to come out to your friends and family when you are unsure how they will react.”

And he’s paying tolerance more than just lip service – Clayton will engage in his first ever same-sex kiss for the cause. If you’re interested in pashing/protesting too, bring positive vibes (this is a peaceful protest) and chapstick to Martin Place Fountain from 11:30 am Saturday, March 5. We can’t really endorse this more.

Signed, someone who’s never paid for sex and who finds it slightly ironic that someone who has would assume the moral high ground.

Watch Madden’s campaign video below then prepare to throw things at walls/swear at inanimate objects.