Here’s a little New Year’s Eve inspo for you, kids.
So apparently this fucking legend/potentially superhuman Russian man had a couple of quite ones with some mates, died, chucked a Jesus and came back to life inside a morgue freezer, before pissing-off to go get written-off with his pals grieving his untimely demise.
The story has been covered by local newspaper, Khasanskiye Vesti, on Tuesday morning and details remain sketchy.
The report states an John Doe (a.k.a god-knows who) got loaded with mates. Everything was all gravy-baby until he randomly dropped dead. Police then came and took the body to the morgue.
Detective Alexey Stoev has gone on record to the Russian paper claiming the fella just spontaneously woke up:
“That night, the local morgue was filled to capacity. The bodies were not only on the shelves, but also on the floor of the freezer, where our dead hero lay. At some point, the man woke up and did not understand where he was. It was very dark and cold. Plus his brain was fogged by the alcohol. In the darkness, he felt the cold extremities of someone and in fear rushed to the door. But it was locked. Then the man began banging on the door with all his might.”
He scared the living shit out of a poor female employ, and to make matters worse, the police assumed she was taking the piss (as anyone one of us would) when she called for their help. When they arrived and opened the door, they too shat themselves after finding the dead man was well and truly kicking it.
You’d be pretty stoked to get out of that freezer though, mind you.
After he woke, the police took his statement and let him go. Did he head home? Nup. Apparently he went down to join the celebration of his life that his friends had already started – one of them passing out cold upon laying eyes on him.
Obviously don’t try this at home folks, ’cause, y’know, we want you to stay alive and keep reading our shit etc.
Story: Khasanskiye Vesti.