Our most Prime of Ministers, Malcolm Turnbull, spent this morning in Canberra with Christopher Pyne, delivering his hotly-anticipated ‘Innovation Statement’.
The changes would ‘allow Australia to move out of the mining boom’, and the Australian government will spend around $1.1 billion, said the PM.
Don’t get us wrong, there *is* some legitimately great-sounding stuff in the package, including:
- $459 million over four years towards science infrastructure.
- 20% non-refundable tax offset and a capital gains tax exemption for early stage investors in start up businesses, 10% tax rebate for venture capital investments to expand existing start-ups.
- Insovency laws and bankruptcy periods relaxed to help start ups who fail.
- A new board in the Industry Department called Innovation and Science Australia.
- $200m innovation fund that’ll co-invest in businesses that develop tech for the CSIRO or Aussie universities.
- $127 million over four years of research block grant funding towards collaboration between industry and universities.
- Money set aside to help students in years 5 to 7 to learn coding.
- ‘Entrepreneur Visa’ created for international talent, post-grads with experience in STEM or ICT will be fast-tracked for residency.
- Support for Aussies wanting to take their ideas international, through a $36m ‘Global Innovation Strategy’
- $48m Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) literacy program.
- $14m to encourage women and girls into the sector and $51m for to promote “digital literacy.”
However, the campaign was marketed with fluffy 3-word slogans and cutesy ‘country full of of dreamers’ quotes that could well have been plagiarised from a 19 year old travel bloggers ~wanderlust~ Instagram:
“Unlike a mining boom, it is a boom that can continue forever, it is limited only by our imagination, and I know that Australians believe in themselves, I know that we are a creative and imaginative nation.”
So, Australia did what Australia does best. We took the absolute piss out of it.
If you scroll through the #ideasboom hashtag on Twitter, you will soon see that we’re no longer suggesting tangible ideas to further the innovation of our country. Or are we? Don’t even fkn know anymore hey.
#ideasboom hand sanitiser that kills only 0.01% of germs but like the 0.01% that the other one doesn’t
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) December 7, 2015
Let’s all do nangs #ideasboom
— Merry Lex-mas y’all (@lexisprettygood) December 7, 2015
memes that cure psoriasis #ideasboom
— Dee (@figgled) December 7, 2015
Boom boom boom
let’s go back to my room
so we can do it all night
and you can make me feel right
#ideasboom
— one of many daves (@altvarg) December 7, 2015
Something so great I am not going to tell you what it is in case you steal it. #ideasboom
— Simon Payne (@SimonPa50494208) December 7, 2015
BUSINESS
NEEDS
NBN
#ThreeWordSlogans pic.twitter.com/0DEnlANnON
— Disruptive Noely (@YaThinkN) December 7, 2015
Me advising politicians/staffers if their dank memes capture the zeitgeist or are hot trash, as a service #ideasboom
— Ewan Nurse (@EwanNurse) December 7, 2015
@swearyanthony ibis proof bins #ideasboom
— Mick Fong (@_midofo_) December 7, 2015
Three words
Full stop
Three words
Full stop
Three words
[pause]
Well, what are you looking at?
#ideasboom. pic.twitter.com/mDLyZzsUQV
— Rodney Gordon (@rwgordon) December 7, 2015
Dump the entire billion into Clive Palmer’s dinosaur park. #ideasboom
— Jess Wheeler (@wheelswordsmith) December 7, 2015
Start a hashtag to promote a half baked government initiative #ideasboom
— Ben Jedrej (@BenJedrej) December 7, 2015
one day my kids will ask me daddy what did you do in the #ideasboom and i will say kids i did what i had to do… for innovation
— Adam Liaw (@adamliaw) December 7, 2015
Roast chicken scented candles #ideasboom
— Anastasia Glushko (@fluffapalooza) December 7, 2015
#ideasboom build huge radar dish to broadcast “The Castle” into deep space for alien civilisations to witness.
— Jung Thug (@ATTLien) December 7, 2015
A megaphone you put on your butt, so that when you fart, all people can hear is Professor Frink yell “I’M FARTING”. #ideasboom
— Leigh Albon (@lbalbon) December 7, 2015
All ideas must be submitted through Internet Explorer #ideasboom
— Ainsindahouse (@ainsindahouse) December 7, 2015
#ideasboom https://t.co/ssGxIveQ3u
— Oat Mc….Xmas? (@PattusM) December 7, 2015
Monorail #IdeasBoom
— Pepe (@pepeMcGee) December 7, 2015
Me telling what @realDonaldTrump& @RealBenCarson have done this week while we’re at the pub,as a service,plenty of pro bono exp. #ideasboom
— Ewan Nurse (@EwanNurse) December 7, 2015
#ideasboom make “beer before bong you’re in the wrong/bong before beer you’re in the clear” part of the national curriculum.
— Jung Thug (@ATTLien) December 7, 2015
submarines for dogs #ideasboom
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) December 7, 2015
Look; it’s not that we aren’t impressed, or maturely and logically giving constructive criticism regarding this at the same time. We just like to make the joke, and let us rejoice that we are so young and free that we *can* do that.
Despite the fact that we have to innovate and make jokes in a Broadband-less society.
Full details of Malcolm Turnbull’s EXCITING #ideasboom, via Turnbull’s #NBN: https://t.co/Q3dkHjg509 #auspol pic.twitter.com/Zz0nSkaqXQ
— U Bet I’m Gone❗? (@johndory49) December 7, 2015
OG Photo: Twitter.
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