Malcolm Turnbull’s #IdeasBoom Triggers Spate Of Truly Terrible/Amazing Ideas

Our most Prime of Ministers, Malcolm Turnbull, spent this morning in Canberra with Christopher Pyne, delivering his hotly-anticipated ‘Innovation Statement’. 

The changes would ‘allow Australia to move out of the mining boom’, and the Australian government will spend around $1.1 billion, said the PM. 

Don’t get us wrong, there *is* some legitimately great-sounding stuff in the package, including:

• $459 million over four years towards science infrastructure. 
• 20% non-refundable tax offset and a capital gains tax exemption for early stage investors in start up businesses, 10% tax rebate for venture capital investments to expand existing start-ups.
• Insovency laws and bankruptcy periods relaxed to help start ups who fail. 
• A new board in the Industry Department called Innovation and Science Australia.
• $200m innovation fund that’ll co-invest in businesses that develop tech for the CSIRO or Aussie universities. 
• $127 million over four years of research block grant funding towards collaboration between industry and universities.
• Money set aside to help students in years 5 to 7 to learn coding. 
• ‘Entrepreneur Visa’ created for international talent, post-grads with experience in STEM or ICT will be fast-tracked for residency. 
• Support for Aussies wanting to take their ideas international, through a $36m ‘Global Innovation Strategy’
• $48m Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) literacy program. 
• $14m to encourage women and girls into the sector and $51m for to promote “digital literacy.”

However, the campaign was marketed with fluffy 3-word slogans and cutesy ‘country full of of dreamers’ quotes that could well have been plagiarised from a 19 year old travel bloggers ~wanderlust~ Instagram:

So, Australia did what Australia does best. We took the absolute piss out of it. 

If you scroll through the #ideasboom hashtag on Twitter, you will soon see that we’re no longer suggesting tangible ideas to further the innovation of our country. Or are we? Don’t even fkn know anymore hey. 

#ideasboom hand sanitiser that kills only 0.01% of germs but like the 0.01% that the other one doesn’t

— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) December 7, 2015

Let’s all do nangs #ideasboom

— Merry Lex-mas y’all (@lexisprettygood) December 7, 2015

memes that cure psoriasis #ideasboom

— Dee (@figgled) December 7, 2015

Look; it’s not that we aren’t impressed, or maturely and logically giving constructive criticism regarding this at the same time. We just like to make the joke, and let us rejoice that we are so young and free that we *can* do that. 

Despite the fact that we have to innovate and make jokes in a Broadband-less society. 

Full details of Malcolm Turnbull’s EXCITING #ideasboom, via Turnbull’s #NBN: https://t.co/Q3dkHjg509 #auspol pic.twitter.com/Zz0nSkaqXQ

— U Bet I’m Gone❗? (@johndory49) December 7, 2015

OG Photo: Twitter.