There is not a goddamned thing on this planet earth that will cause a commuter on a packed Melbourne Tram to avert their steely, far-away gaze.
I have seen people running literal laps of an 86 tram while screaming bloody murder at the top of their lungs, and no one shifted a nostril. I saw a tiny old man on an 8 tram (RIP) that had to emergency brake for a fallen biker on Swanston St; old mate didn’t lose a crumb off the sandwich he was eating. I was once on a broken down 96 that got stuck in the middle of Nicholson St for 36 minutes, people didn’t so much as make eye-contact with one another.
There is not anything – living, dead, weather-related, mechanical, or otherwise – that will cause a Melbourne commuter to suffer the indignity of acknowledging another human being.
Case in bloody point: the Prime Minister of Australia.
Malcolm Turnbull, in town for one reason or another, forewent the official Commonwealth car this morning for his trip from Triple M studios, instead tramming back into the city before transferring onto the trusty old 109 towards Box Hill.
Here he is at Southern Cross Station trying to read the Melbourne network map, which fair play to them has been a darned sight easier to do ever since they kicked a bucket of rainbow Crayolas all over it.
Tram time again for @TurnbullMalcolm in Melbourne pic.twitter.com/A0GJgs8R1q
— Dougal Beatty (@DougalBeatty) June 26, 2017
Some of you living outside Melbourne might think that the leader of country might attract at least a side-eye of acknowledgement if he sat down in front of you on ye olde public transport.
But not this absolute hero of a woman. This legend among legends. This model for what everything that a proper Melbourne commuter should be: stoic, silent, and not the least bit interested in your shit.
Woman riding tram to work has the Prime Minister sit opposite her – decides to keep her headphones on – is this where we are at? pic.twitter.com/yby9EIAfrJ
— Charles Croucher (@ccroucher9) June 27, 2017
ICE.
FUCKEN.
COLD.
You might be the political leader of the country with a list of dogshit policies as long as the arm, but I’ve got ‘Crazy Taxi‘ on iOS and the new TOFOP podcast episode to listen to.
Now here comes the real interesting question: Did Malcolm Turnbull remember to bloody top up his Myki?
“I’m the Prime Minister” is absolutely no excuse for not touching on, m8.
Source: Twitter.
Photo: Charles Croucher/Twitter.
Photo: Charles Croucher/Twitter.
