It’s very important to preface this by saying the Melbourne Cup kinda sucks – all of horse racing kinda sucks. Having a form of entertainment that apparently has a minimum number of horses that must die to sustain it is more than just a little bit shit.
While, admittedly, getting next-level day drunk in formal wear while entertaining the notion that by the end of the day you might be very slightly richer does make for a pretty solid afternoon, there surely has to be some way to recreate this experience without murdering a horse.
Pictured: Horse murder.
Horse welfare aside, there’s also the incredibly devastating heartbreak that comes with placing a bet on the horse with the longest odds, making up elaborate plans in your mind for what you’re going to do with the ungodly amount of money you’re going to win, and summarily being emotionally destroyed when your shitty horse amble slowly across the line at the back of the pack (it had the longest odds for a reason, come on).
This sure wasn’t everyone’s experience though, Sportsbet shelled out a not-too-shabby $13,000,000 smackeroos to 80,000 punters, with some of those winners getting stupid amounts of money for unbelievably unlikely, highly specific bets.
One lucky bloke (let’s call him what he is, a motherfucker) managed to get $240,000 from a single $10 bet after correctly picking the first four (in order!), and I imagine he is probably still currently weeping with joy / shopping online for helicopters.
A Victorian TAB customer managed to successfully pulled off the same bet, and wrangled himself the princely sum of $24,000 for the humble price of a single shiny, golden $1 coin.
Well done to these bastards, who I now hate with a furious, passionate jealousy.
Source: The Daily Telegraph.
