I sometimes think about what incited my blatant homosexuality. The Sugababes are a frontrunner. The Saddle Club, close behind. Those mini Bratz Dolls that I used to get in my Happy Meals definitely didn’t help the situation either. But never I did think to blame the technological medium through which my very gay fingers voluntarily searched very gay stimuli on.
Well, that’s exactly what Russian man D. Razumilov recently did – he’s filed a lawsuit against Apple after claiming that his iPhone turned him gay.
Now bare with me here on this one, because it’s a rollercoaster of a story…
Razumilov was apparently minding his own business on a cryptocurrency app when he received “69 GayCoins” from an unknown sender, accompanied by the message “Don’t judge without trying.”
“I thought, indeed, how can I judge something without trying it?” Razumilov stated in his complaint. “And decided to try same-sex relationships.”
Since voluntarily choosing to fuck dudes, he says his life has worsened drastically. (Relatable.)
“I can say after the passage of two months that I’m mired in intimacy with a member of my own sex and can’t get out,” he continued. “I have a steady boyfriend and I don’t know how to explain it to my parents.”
He’s subsequently seeking roughly $23k AUD in compensation from Apple.
Now, there are obviously some contextual elements to consider here, like the fact that Russia can be a very dangerous place for openly queer and trans folk. So, with this in mind, it doesn’t seem far-fetched that someone would grasp at straws to explain their condition and subsequently soothe their internalised homophobia.
By exposing the absurdity of these stories, though, we can importantly highlight the long way LGBTQIA+ rights has to go across the globe.
Either way, Razumilov’s decision to file a lawsuit against Apple, with the knowledge that someone this ridiculous would go viral and give his gayness even more exposure, was… a choice.
You know what? On second thoughts, I’m going to sue the Sugababes.
Source: Moscow Times