Literally No One Will Explain Why ‘Human Ken Doll’ Was At Libs Budget Event

I truly think one of the greater things about modern society is the increasing acceptance of the concept of bodily autonomy and the understanding that it’s a human right to make whatever decisions you want when it comes to your own physical form.

If those decisions include going under the knife upwards of 200 times in order to achieve the bizarrely smooth and manufactured countenance of a perpetually surprised cartoon character, then power to you. Your body your choices etc.
Justin ‘Human Ken Doll’ Jedlica, is said plastic surgery fanatic, a NY-born “artist” and “pioneer of the modifiable male aesthetic”, whose interests include working out, injecting copious prosthetic substances into his face and, for yet-to-be-learned reasons, attending official Australian Liberal Party Budget Night events and taking selfies with our country’s leaders.
The social-media celebrity’s head-scratching appearance at private events held on Budget Night earlier this year at both Parliament House and Canberra’s Hyatt Hotel, have legit never once been explained, with not even a Senate estimates hearing able to shed any light on what the actual fuck was going on here.
Labor senator Kimberly Kitching, no doubt equally as bamboozled at this wholly weird situation as we are, used the Senate estimates hearing to ask the Department of Parliamentary Services how guest lists for such events at Parliament House were constructed, if any background checks were completed on guests and which government representative specifically organised Jedlica’s attendance.
Attorney-General George Brandis responded by admitting he had no effin clue who this Human Ken Doll bloke was and that despite acquiescing to a selfie with Jedlica, neither did anyone from PM Turnbull’s team.

“I do not think anybody at this table is likely to have heard of this benighted individual,”
 Brandis said in response to the questioning, which (to save you a Google) is pretty much him calling Judlica a huge fucking idiot. Heavy, bro.

The DOP concluded by saying they don’t release information on MP’s personal invite lists, as a matter of parliamentary priviledge, meaning this insanely cooked story will likely remain with far more questions than answers. The main one, being of course: “WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS?”.
Jedlica, not-surprisingly for an insta-famous celeb, is reveling in the mystery of it all, this morning posting one final pic from the event with nobody’s favourite pollie Christopher Pyne:

Again, you do you Justin, you shiny, shiny motherfucker.
File this one away in the WTF category, mates.
Source: SMH.
Picture: Instagram / Justin Jedlica.