When one thing works, and works reasonably well, the common logic seems to be not to break that one thing. But then of course along comes the tech revolution with its incessant perfectionist obsession to shout “That thing you made that works is shit. Do it again!” in everyone’s face. So with that in mind, it gives me no pleasure at all (both because it’s a mild hassle, and because of the realisation that I’m suddenly an old man resistant to change) to inform you all that over the next few days Facebook will be applying an update to its mobile app platforms that removes the Messages function from the main app, leaving that part of the social media platform’s on-the-go functionality solely the domain of a separate, second app – Messenger.
Obviously this doesn’t effect the regular ole’ web and desktop versions of the Great Zuckerberg Well of Privacy Laws, just the iOS and Android versions. The move is being made to erase any confusion that may arise from having two apps using the same function – kind of like taking half your spoons out of your cutlery drawer and putting them in the vegetable crisper and then months later deciding to move the rest of the spoons into the crisper because having them in two locations was just too confusing.
In an even more ever-so-slightly annoying first world problem, the main Facebook app will still notify you when you get a message, but you’ll then have to switch apps to Messenger in order to read it. Efficiency!
Expect the roll out of the function sometime this week. Expect your news feeds to explode with outrage at a social injustice comparable to apartheid shortly thereafter.
Photo: Nicolas Asfouri via Getty Images.
