Literally the only good thing about the internet in amongst the pain and the torment is when a big ol’ liar is exposed for their many, many lies. Today’s wonderful example: a guy who claims he was stabbed by someone who thought he was a neo-Nazi actually stabbed himself. Great!
Joshua Witt, a 26-year-old from Colorado, was presumably trying to make a point about how VIOLENT LEFTIES are JUST AS BAD AS NAZIS when he made a post on his Facebook claiming he got stabbed as he was getting out of his car. Merely for looking like a neo-Nazi!
The intolerant left strikes again.
As one might expect, the story went pretty big on the American right-wing press – everyone from Fox News to Alex Jones‘s Infowars gave it far, far more coverage than it probably deserved even if it were true.
According to Gizmodo, Witt initially told police that he had been stabbed by a “black male” in his mid-20s. I wonder why he decided to add that particular element.
Buzzfeed did the legwork on verifying Witt’s tall tale. They called the police department in Sheridan, Colorado, who were more than happy to confirm the fact that no such event happened. As per Buzzfeed:
Police became suspicious of his story because surveillance video did not show anyone running from the scene, as Witt had claimed, and because police found and interviewed someone who matched Witt’s description of the attacker, “who is a transient and lives in the area was cleared as a possible suspect.”
They also looked at video from a nearby sporting goods store, which showed Witt buying a small knife minutes before the alleged attack.
When police confronted Witt with the lack of evidence for his so-called attack, he admitted that he actually cut himself accidentally while parked in front of a sporting goods store, then made up the story.
He was charged with falsely reporting to authorities.
It leaves a pretty compelling question, though: how the hell do you cut yourself that badly by accident while sitting in a stationary vehicle? Either he’s lying and he did it intentionally, or he’s the world’s biggest klutz.
