The Paris Zoo yesterday unveiled its latest exhibit, a celebration of the not-quite-plant, not-quite-fungus organism it has dubbed The Blob.

Named after the classic 1958 horror film, The Blob will soon be on display to visitors who are tired of gazing at the zoo’s boring collection of painfully normal animals.

But for those of us unable to trek to France to observe a puddle of goop, fear not: footage released by the Zoo shows the bright yellow bastard in action, slowly morphing its way across trees, stones, and petri dishes in search of its next meal.

Pretty impressive for a single-celled organism without a nervous system. It’s also precisely as gross as you’d imagine, but biologists are fascinated by The Blob and other slime moulds like it.

“The blob is a living being which belongs to one of nature’s mysteries,” said Bruno David, who directs the Paris Museum of Natural History.

Speaking to Reuters, David said The Blob “surprises us because it has no brain but is able to learn.”

Citing studies into slime moulds and their ilk, Quanta Magazine last year said researchers had successfully ‘trained’ organisms like The Blob, despite the fact they don’t even have goddamned brains:

Most importantly, slime molds can be taught new tricks; depending on the species, they may not like caffeine, salt or strong light, but they can learn that no-go areas marked with these are not as bad as they seem, a process known as habituation.

As someone who gravitates towards coffee, snacks, and the brain-melting light of my smartphone, I have to agree with the smile moulds on that one.

Biologists are also fascinated by the possibility that slime moulds which merge can effectively ‘share’ those memories between cells, which, if proven, could rewrite much of what we know about evolutionary biology.

Because I am suddenly and irreversibly obsessed with The Blob and other slime moulds, here are some other facts: David said The Blob can digest food without having a stomach, can heal itself in two minutes after being chopped apart, and exhibits nearly 720 sexes.

I now love The Blob. It is my disgusting child. Look at it. Look:

Source: Reuters
Image: @zoodeparis / Instagram