Rogue Tasmanian Senator and person without a filter Jacqui Lambie has a profile in the current issue of Australian Women’s Weekly, and it’s the gift that keeps on giving … and giving … and giving … and giving. 

Where do we even start with this thing? Well, at one point, Women’s Weekly dryly note that Lambie “may well be the only female parliamentarian ever to hold a tank license,” and this sets the tone for a lot of what’s to come.

One thing we now know for sure is that Lambie is not a fan of old mate Tony Abbott, going as far as to say that he has “no guts”, “no balls” and “no social skills”. Apparently, he ran afoul of her when he cancelled several meetings in the lead-up to Christmas.

“Females scare the crap out of him but he’s going to have to grow a pair because he has to deal with me,” she said.  “My vote’s important, so if I was Tony Abbott, I’d be saying: Hey, Jacqui Lambie, let’s have a cup of coffee.” 

“But he can’t do that, can he?” she continued. “Because he doesn’t wear the pants. The female in his office, Peta Credlin – she’s the one that wears the pants.” 

“That’s another thing with those blokes from the all-boy schools,” Lambie continued, “they can only deal with one powerful female at a time. They need that powerful female to push the other females away.” 

“So now the bastard is saying: ‘I don’t have to meet with Jacqui Lambie’ but guess what? He does have to meet with me, because we are going to have to work together. Fair enough, he got elected – but I got elected, too.”

“Tony Abbott has no social skills,” she continued. “To me, he’s like a cardboard cut-out. You put him here, you move him there. He told me how he had injured himself during some fire fighting exercise. I had to stop myself from saying: ‘Harden up, girlfriend’.’”

Wow. 

At another point in the interview, Lambie discussed her love of botox. “It’s addictive,” she said. “It’s like ‘oh my god, here comes a wrinkle again’.” The issue hits newsstands today, and you’re advised to go ahead and pick up a copy for posterity.

We both love the quote machine that is Jacqui Lambie, and fear the fact that she represents just a small portion of the craziness that is the Australian Senate right now. You just keep doing you, Ms Lambie.

Photo: William West via Getty Images