Man Pinging On A Couple Of Warwick Cappers Steals Swan Boat, Maroons Self

MDMA, it’s a hell of a drug.

And it’s the drug behind this absolutely nuts story from Orlando today, in which a man got stranded in the middle of a lake, on a swan boat, which he stole because he “wanted to be with the swans”. Good lord.

The incident occurred at Lake Eola in Orlando, Florida, and according to an Orlando City Police report, officers responded at 4am on December 15th after finding 36-year-old Kyle Thurston sitting on the fountain that stands in the centre of the lake, screaming.

“Before Thurston was transported he explained he ingested a large quantity of Molly (MDMA) and wanted to be with the swans because they didn’t judge him,” the incident report details.

“He stated he took the swan boat out onto the lake to be with the swans, and paddled it to the fountain.” 

It seems Thurston was perfectly happy hanging out with the swans, until he forgot to tie up his boat while hanging out on the fountain. The boat floated away, and Thurston sat down and started to call out for help.

Thurston was taking to hospital for evaluation, and charges are still pending regarding the boat theft.

What a wild yarn, honestly.