Kevin Rudd, Drunk On Dogshots, Posts Handball Video & Asks You To “Get Ready To Die”

For reasons that aren’t quite clear to me at the moment and likely never will be, two-time former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is back in the news. Not for his reactions to Coalition policy, not for the launch of a new book, not for an appointment to a new diplomatic post, and not even for some sort of weird last-ditch attempt at reentering politics. Rather, two-time former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is back in the news in reference to that one time he was very briefly a meme in the handball world for about 5 minutes. Go figure.

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Rudd has made a truly wild appearance in a video posted to the Handball Memes Facebook page in which he a) casually signs a bunch of the classic Spaulding High-Bounce competition-grade handballs, b) re-declares himself the “Global Handball King” and throws down an open challenge to anyone who wants a “Handball Championship game,” and c) states that you should “be very good” and should also “get ready… to die.”

Once again, that’s two-time former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd telling you to “get ready to die.” Presumably because in his time recovering from knee surgery he has studied the dogshot and become a true master of it.

In case you’ve forgotten about Rudd’s brief-but-illustrious handball career (wouldn’t blame you if you had), the entire episode has been lovingly preserved by the good folk at Kelvin Grove State College where Rudd’s greatest triumph occurred a few years ago.

Honestly, for a rickety old boy his form’s not too bad at all. Lord knows what kind of tricks he has up his sleeve now he has a new knee and can get significantly lower than he ever could before.

Handball. It really brings people together.