The valiant Fixer of Australia’s tertiary education system and everything within it—excellent job, well done, Mr Fixit—Christopher Pyne has had the kind of nightmarish week one deserves when brazenly declaring on national television that it’s s’all Good, Man re: the education portfolio in its entirety.
Calm down, everybody. It’s fine.
Calling bullshit on Pyne’s claims, Karl Stefanovic—not the hero ‘Straya deserves, but the one we asked for—came to the nation’s rescue by putting Pyne’s claims of, “I’m a fixer,” on Sky News earlier this week to the test.
Christopher Pyne, taking all measures of restraint physically possible to not call his on-air partner Anthony Albanese this morning a see you next Tuesday, was up for it.
Karl began a challenge this morning by saying, “I think it was a little over reasonable that you were called Mr Fixer this week… even though you labelled it yourself….”
“But I am a fixer, I fix things,” Pyne maintained.
Karl led Albo and Pyne to the Today show’s car park, where a beat up trooper of a hatchback needed a tyre changing. Why wait for a professional when Christopher Pyne, Mr Fixer himself, is there at your disposal?
Pyne went to work, complaining that, “It’s not high enough, you loser.”
Calling himself Mr Fixer, calling Karlos a loser: thin ice, mate. Thin ice.
“I’m watching the wreckage,” Albo interjected, looking on in pure ecstasy. “That’s not the first time you’ve said that,” he added, when Pyne complained about having “filthy hands”.
In the end, Pyne fixed the tyre. “It’s the end of the week, and he’s fixed something!” Karl said. We’ll give you the tyre, Pyne. Higher education deregulation reforms, tho? Nah.
Via 9 News.
