We’ve all heard of blue balls, to be sure. It’s a mild inconvenience that passes in minutes. But imagine getting to the proverbial vinegar strokes and being denied for NINETY-NINE MILLION YEARS.
In Burma, a fossilised ancestor of a Daddy Long Legs has been found entirely preserved in amber – hardened resin that seeped out from a tree, for the maybe one of you who somehow still hasn’t seen Jurassic Park yet and therefore is unaware of what joy feels like.
The discovery of the creature is momentous in and of itself – digging nerds go bonkers for this shit – but this one specific specimen is extremely notable for a very unique reason.
It’s been preserved with a thumping great big erection.
The prehistoric creature, a male Halitherses grimaldii, was preserved fully torqued, apparently just prior to having itself a little Triassic Tryst.
Turns out size mattered back in the dinosaur age, too. Old mate’s old mate is roughly half the size of his freaking body.
Photo: Jason Dunlop, Paul Seldon, Gonzalo Giribet/National Geographic.
I’ve heard of digging up a bone, but this is ridiculous.
Source: National Geographic.
Photo: De Agostini Picture Library/Getty.
