Juggalos Terrorize Sydney

Lock up your everything Australia because violent street clowns are terrorizing our streets with oversized wallet chains and eye makeup. Or so says news.com.au who valiantly attempt to convert what is ostensibly a failed robbery of little note into a trend piece about rabid clowns who eat babies.

According to the website’s report, a woman in Sydney was accosted by three Juggalos who demanded her bag and threatened her with chains. Fortunately the trio were thwarted when the victim’s boyfriend turned up, forcing the gang to flee to the nearest train station instead of outnumbering and fighting someone of the same gender. News.com.au describes these out of control Juggalos as “a notorious American youth gang known for its violent street crime and penchant for wearing clown make-up as a disguise” which is funny because gang and subculture mean totally different things but both appear to be interchangeable when describing clown-influenced crime syndicates we know nothing about.

Unless it’s illegal to paint your face white or appreciate the Insane Clown Posse’s music, Juggalos aren’t a criminal gang Australian media, they’re just a youth subculture with really poor taste. Damn, yoots these days are hard to keep up with.

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