Joe Biden Says Only The ‘Lord Almighty’ Could Make Him Drop Out Of Presidential Race

A week after that shocker of a debate, US President Joe Biden has come out saying that the only thing that could make him drop out of the 2024 Presidential Race is divine intervention. Jesus, take the wheel.

In a pivotal TV interview with George Stephanopoulos on America’s ABC News, the 81-year-old slammed claims that he was unfit to compete in the upcoming US election against Republican Donald Trump.

In case you missed it: After the first debate on CNN between the two presidential candidates last week, the overwhelming feeling amongst voters was that there was no winner. Not Trump, not Biden, and definitely not the American people.

In classic Trump fashion, the convicted felon lied and bullshitted his way through the 90-minute debate — a complete unsurprise.

Yet despite the appalling nature of his opponent, Biden didn’t come out of the debate looking much better.

As a result, President Biden has faced resounding calls from the Democrat party and voters to drop out of the debate so that a stronger candidate can take his place. Or even just one who doesn’t look like he’s one cough away from kicking the bucket.

Biden says he won’t drop out

During their 22-minute televised interview, Stephanopoulos highlighted these concerns with the President, and asked him about the reason behind his poor performance in the debate.

“Was this a bad episode or the sign of a more serious condition?” the journalist asked.

“It was a bad episode. No indication of any serious condition,” answered Biden.

“I was exhausted. I didn’t listen to my instincts in terms of preparing, and I had a bad night.”

Other excuses he provided for his disappointing debate include:

  • He was sick with a “really bad cold”.
  • He was jet-lagged from a UK trip 12 days beforehand.
  • He was busy juggling the campaign with being President.

Concerningly, when asked if he had even watched the debate, Biden seemed to not be able to remember.

“I don’t think I did, no,” said President of America.

Over the course of the interview, Joe Biden defended his declining approval rating amongst pollsters, and denied claims he was unfit to lead the country for four more years.

“Can I run the 100 in 10 flat? No, but I’m still in good shape,” Biden said.

“I don’t think anybody’s more qualified to be President or win this race than me.”

Though many in the Democrat Party have begun petitioning for Biden to drop out of the race in place of a new candidate, others like former president Barrack Obama have backed Joe as the man for the job.

However, there was one person who Biden said he might consider listening to if they believed that he wasn’t going to beat Trump.

“If you can be convinced that you cannot defeat Donald Trump, will you stand down?” asked Stephanopoulos.

“If the Lord Almighty came down and said ‘Joe, get out of the race,’ I’d get out of the race,” Mr Biden said.

“The Lord Almighty’s not coming down.”

So God, if you’re listening, you have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time right now.

[Image: Getty]

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