A Guy Tried To Jetski Outta Australia & The AFP Compared Him To DJ Khaled

Look, jetskis seem cool, I’ve never ridden one personally but I imagine it’s fun buzzing around the ocean. What jetskis don’t seem cool for is a mode of international transportation. I just think that’s not the best idea? But apparently I’ve been proven wrong, because a dude was arrested trying to flee Australia on one of those bad boys made it all the way (almost) to Papua New Guinea before he was nabbed by the cops.

[jwplayer biRmy4fP]

The Guardian reports that the 57-year-old British guy was wanted on drugs charges in WA, and made the very (not) wise decision to instead fuck off from Pundsand Bay, up near Bamaga in QLD. Folks in Bamaga alerted the police because the dude was carrying a crossbow and a bunch of fuel/supplies, which IMO isn’t exactly going to see you fly under the radar. But that’s just me.

The dude made it all the way to Saibai Island which is part of the Torres Strait Island archipelago and still part of Australia, but it is just 4km south of PNG. So he did pretty well, tbh. 150km of pretty well, in fact.

“He gave it a red-hot go,” said Jock O’Keeffe of Queensland police, who a) has one of the most policey names in history and b) has now said the most Australian line in police statement history.

I want to hedge a bet O’Keeffe was behind the FB post from the AFP (although that would be weird bc he’s QLD police) because they are really having fun with this caper.

FYI, for the uninformed – DJ Khaled once got lost on a jetski and it’s gone down in internet history.

O’Keeffe confirmed that the man had the crossbow throughout his journey, but he didn’t have it on him when he was arrested. Some legendary locals from nearby islands along the man’s route kept police informed when he stopped or passed their homes, which is pretty good of them.

“It’s a bit unusual to try and get from Pundsand Bay all the way to PNG. He stuck out like the proverbial,” O’Keeffe continued, just cementing himself as my absolute favourite police guy of all time.

The man was taken to Thursday Island after his arrest, and will be extradited from QLD to WA where he is facing serious drug charges.

What a ride, you guys.