During yesterday’s 90th Academy Awards, renowned actress Jennifer Garner came to some kind of experience-shattering realisation.
What did she remember, that caused her to stop clapping? Who knows? Maybe she realised she left the stove on. Maybe she recognised the person on stage from that episode of Law & Order some 15 years ago. Maybe she finally figured out that if you ask the guard in the dungeon to ask their brother which door leads to freedom, you’ll find your way out every time.
That was just a personal favourite. Twitter of course had one million ideas about what she realised, more than a few of which referenced 2004 comedy Suddenly 30. (Isn’t is nice when you realise this dumb movie you really liked was also beloved by total strangers on the internet?)
She just woke up in a 30 year olds body, cut her some slack. https://t.co/FtY7OQeIUY
— hat (@Hattiethepirate) March 5, 2018
I am thirty, flirty, AND thriving. https://t.co/su8OmaXJD4
— Ashly Perez 🤙🏽 (@itsashlyperez) March 5, 2018
That her best friend stole her idea for Poise Magazine and sold it to Sparkle https://t.co/CKd8p64HlQ
— Baby (@Jaycee_babes) March 5, 2018
She didn’t defrost the chicken https://t.co/1SlUJbzh6q
— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) March 5, 2018
“I married the worst Batman.” https://t.co/Tg5LjTKvhf
— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) March 5, 2018
“Wait a minute…a half of an onion can’t actually run a Twitter account!” https://t.co/E2PtxlaCgz
— Half An Onion 🧅 (@HalfOnionInABag) March 5, 2018
This isn’t Jennifer Garner, it’s Sydney Bristow and this is the first scene in an ALIAS reboot https://t.co/rMeDshPOUW
— Steffan Universe 🛸 (@steffantriplett) March 5, 2018
New Yorkers think their barbecue is taking over the world. https://t.co/ku6GWeoCM1
— Kevin McGuire (@KevinOnCFB) March 5, 2018
If somebody at Variety or Vanity Fair isn’t putting these questions directly to her agent, then the entire journalism industry deserves to go down the toilet. The world needs answers.