Looking for the silver lining to the otherwise fucking miserable cloud of disaster that is 2020 and the current coronavirus pandemic? Well, apparently it’s Jeff Bezos getting *checks notes* even fucking richer. Becoming a literal trillionaire, if you want to put a dollar amount to it.
It would be nice to see some people come out of this coronavirus pandemic better off than when it started, but do you know who really doesn’t need to be any better off? Jeff Fucking Bezos.
According to Comparisun, Bezos is well on his way to becoming the world’s first trillionaire by 2026 and isn’t that just wonderful for him. Oh, and we’re talking in USD here, so it’s even more money than you think it is.
Despite losing a hefty $38 billion USD as part of his divorce, Jeffy boy is still worth a staggering $145 billion, which is *checks bank account* approximately $145 billion more than my own net worth. That number has grown by an average of 34% in the last five years.
While we’re all copping the brunt of the coronavirus pandemic with unemployment rates skyrocketing and the economy on the verge of another recession, Bezos and Amazon are sitting pretty as the demand for online shopping reaches an all-time high amid mass store closures worldwide.
The company reported $75.5 billion in revenue in the first quarter of 2020 alone, which is just a little bit of spare change. Not to mention only paid approximately 1.2% income tax last year, according to CNBC.
Thanks to our isolation-fuelled spending, Amazon share prices have skyrocketed and with 11.2% of said shares sitting comfortably in his pockets, Bezos isn’t exactly stressing right now.
Additionally, he sold off a casual $3.4 billion worth of shares *just* before Amazon prices dropped at the start of the pandemic. You know, because if anyone needs a spare $3.4B right now, it’s Bezos.
Now it’s important to note that Jeff Bezos sometimes likes to give a portion of his enormous wealth to philanthropic efforts. Earlier this year he graciously contributed 0.00059% of his net worth of the Australian bushfire relief efforts, and more recently he spared a $100 million for Feeding America.
“Even in ordinary times, food insecurity in American households is an important problem, and unfortunately Covid-19 is amplifying that stress significantly,” Bezos wrote on Instagram at the time.
A philanthropic legend, honestly.
We’re not here to donation shame anyone because I’m sure that $100 million did a world of good for a worthy cause. But it was also less than two months ago that the richest man on the planet asked us all to open up our pockets and pitch in for Amazon workers’ sick leave.
Once again, Twitter felt the need to share their feelings about Jeff’s unimaginable wealth. For starters, trillionaire isn’t even a word, which means Jeff Bezos could (in theory) literally have ~too much~ money.
Oh cool great, trillionaire, a word that spell check is telling me DOES NOT EXIST because my phone cares more about income equality than this turd.— Charlotte White (@ChazzyW) May 14, 2020
Jeff Bezos set to be world's first trillionaire as coronavirus helps Amazon https://t.co/80wcjQENYc
Imagine being as rich as Jeff Bezos and not feeling obligated to help people. What an awful person— rosie ???? (@sunvoIume6) May 14, 2020
If Jeff Bezos' net worth does reach a trillion (he's still a way off yet), he will be worth more than the individual GDPs of 179 countries with a combined population of 3.4bn (43.7% of all humans alive today). https://t.co/G5TO8zetZE— Has Jeff Bezos Decided To End World Hunger? (@HasBezosDecided) May 14, 2020
jeff bezos abt to be a trillionare??? hmm feeling hungry might snack on the rich— amy (@amycopsey) May 14, 2020
thinking about the fact that we’re in a global pandemic and jeff bezos is on track to becoming a trillionaire and the economy is literally about to crash and i’ll have lived through two recessions before i even hit my 20s and ufos have also been confirmed— martin luther kim (@tyytalks) May 14, 2020
oceans 8 but we steal jeff bezos fortune and make anonymous donations to below average income households all over the world— kelsey (@deadgirlwaIking) May 14, 2020
jeff bezos set to become the first trillionaire meanwhile 33 million americans just filed for unemployment forcing 27 million people off their health insurance pic.twitter.com/th273ANWWU— alexis isabel (@lexi4prez) May 13, 2020
Everybody grab a fork because I’m almost certain this is an excuse to eat the rich.