Dinner parties are the worst when you’re seated next to someone who’s either a) obnoxious, b) deeply unfunny, or c) a general shit-cunt.

So spare a thought for the First Lady of Japan, who was recently forced to sit next to someone who’s all three of those things: Donald Trump.

Akie Abe, wife of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, drew the short straw at a dinner to mark the end of the G20 summit in Hamburg on July 8, and did the only thing one *could* do when faced with hours of conversation with a Dorito. She pretended not to speak English.

Like, not even enough to greet him with a ‘hello’.

Japan’s First Lady Pretended She Couldn’t Speak English Just To Snub Trump

The best bit? Trump had no idea what was going on, and still doesn’t.

In an interview with the New York Times, he put the lack of conversation with Mrs Abe down to the language barrier.

“So, I was seated next to the wife of Prime Minister Abe [Shinzo Abe of Japan], who I think is a terrific guy, and she’s a terrific woman, but doesn’t speak English,” he said.

Asked if it was “nothing, like zero,” he replied: “Like, not “hello.” He went on to say the evening was “hard” because the meal went on for “probably an hour and 45 minutes.”

Japan’s First Lady Pretended She Couldn’t Speak English Just To Snub Trump

He added: “So I’m sitting there. There was one interpreter for Japanese, ’cause otherwise it would have been even tougher. But I enjoyed the evening with her, and she’s really a lovely woman, and I enjoyed – the whole thing was good.” 

US Journalist Sam Thielman was first to spot the discrepancy, pointing out that Mrs Abe speaks very good English. In fact, pre-politics, she worked at one of the biggest ad agencies in the world.

Thielman also linked to a YouTube video that shows her delivering a keynote address – again, in English – for the Ford Foundation back in 2014.

Mrs Abe, we salute you.

Photo: Getty / Joe Raedle.