James Packer, David Gyngell and Miranda Kerr Receive Taiwanese Animation Treatment

The most heavily-watermarked watershed moment in Australian media history has finally received treatment befitting its perverse idiocy.
Taiwanese News Media Animation, an invaluable newswire service devoted to recreating with questionable accuracy all the news that’s fit to click, has turned their attention to Sunday’s clash of the titans between baller Bondi brawler James Packer and Nine Network CEO David Gyngell, which resulted in eyes and egos both blackened and bruised; teeth and middle aged paunches alike upturned on the sidewalk; and photos of the encounter bought by NewsCorp for a reported premium of $210,000.
While certain facts are duly misreported (Gyngell was not wearing shoes; Packer did not presumably ride in on his private jet as one is wont to do with a serfbort), the remainder is unimpeachable in its accuracy, including Miranda Kerr emerging from a Victoria’s Secret shopping tote and promptly being shot by lasers, as well as the existence of Rupert Murdoch’s dorsal fin. 
I believe it was George Orwell who once wrote ‘Journalism is animating what someone else does not want animated: everything else isn’t worth animating.’