This weekend, James Middleton, Kate and Pippa‘s 31-year-old little brother, penned an op-ed for the Daily Mail about his struggle with depression since late 2016. In the piece, he also spoke candidly about being both dyslexic, and diagnosed with ADD last year.
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All colour and emotion had leached out of my world and everything was grey and monotone.
I know I’m richly blessed and live a privileged life. But it did not make me immune to depression. It is tricky to describe the condition. It is not merely sadness. It is an illness, a cancer of the mind.
It’s not a feeling but an absence of feelings. You exist without purpose or direction. I couldn’t feel joy, excitement or anticipation – only heart-thudding anxiety propelled me out of bed in the morning. I didn’t actually contemplate suicide – but I didn’t want to live in the state of mind I was in either.
I also felt misunderstood; a complete failure. I wouldn’t wish the sense of worthlessness and desperation, the isolation and loneliness on my worst enemy. I felt as if I was going crazy.
In the story, he writes about seeking professional help and finding strategies for managing his illness, and about the mental health charity Heads Together, spearheaded by Kate, Prince William and Prince Harry. He’s open about finding it difficult to even speak to his family about his situation.
I wanted to stay in bed all day, and it was only intense anxiety – a feeling like someone screaming in my face – that propelled me up in the morning.
So at the end of that year, after months of sleeplessness, anxiety and inertia, I realised I’d have to consult my doctor again. When I rang her I felt as if I was trying to hold in a waterfall of emotion. I struggled to get the words out and I was close to sobbing.
‘I’m not OK. I need some help,’ I managed to say.
Middleton even speaks about the importance of his dogs in his recovery – Ella has “been with [James] to all [his] therapy sessions“.
And he ultimately concludes that he feels his public profile means he has a “duty to speak out” to hopefully “help others who are suffering as I did“.
If I could leave you with just one thought, it would be this: ‘It’s OK not to be OK.’
That is the mantra that gave me the strength to speak out. Having done so here, it feels as if a great weight has been lifted.
At the same time as he dropped the op-ed, he also set his Instagram to public, potentially as a way to connect directly with people touched by his story.
His Instagram reveals plenty about Middleton – from his job as the Wonka-in-Chief of Boomf, a personalised greeting card and marshmallow company, to his love of dogs.
That’s a lot of dogs.
And he loves his dogs loving the English countryside. And the slow-mo filter, just like us.
So there you go, that’s James Middleton: a royal-adjacent bloke who is handsome, writes well, writes honestly, loves dogs. Nice to meet ya James.
