New Zealand’s PM Jacinda Ardern has confirmed that orgies are officially back on in Auckland, the country’s biggest city.
In a TV interview with Hilary Barry and Jeremy Wells, the hosts of popular news program Seven Sharp asked Ardern to shed some light on one of the finer details in New Zealand’s reopening schedule, otherwise known as the ‘traffic light system’.
“I can confirm that Tinder liaisons have reopened”.
To which host Jeremy Wells replied “great news … for my friend”. HA, nice save.
Which saw Jacinda return serve with “it’s not strictly embedded in the traffic light system but um, it is a given, up to 25 actually, in a red area.”
If we put our detective hats on for a second, I think we can deduce that orgies (up to 25 people, obviously) have been given the PM’s tick of approval.
As Wells attempted to continue the conversation, he was interrupted by his co-host Hilary Barry who quickly nipped the line of questioning in the bud with a light-hearted but firm “stop, stop, no, no. We are going no further on that line of questioning.”
yeah, but did your PM go on national television to officially announce that *checks notes* orgies can resume? pic.twitter.com/cG4YyIvEZT
— Calliope Ryder (@callioperyder) December 10, 2021
Although this may seem out of the blue, this isn’t the first time Jacinda has been asked about Tinder hookups or even orgies.
In mid-November when Auckland was still in lockdown, comedian Chris Parker – who currently sits at 87k on Insta and 61k on TikTok – posted a sketch where he pretended to be a journo at one of Ardern’s COVID press conferences.
Parker ended his quippy cross-examination with “what’s the deal with like, orgy situations … is there some kind of scan-in system?”
Jacinda clearly found the sketch so poignant that she took a break from her busy schedule to comment an “embarrassed face” emoji on the insta vid. Click here for the full story as it’s a certified doozy.
Even after dishing out all this comedic material, if you think the PM was done, you’d be wrong.
This week Ardern told someone off for being a nuisance on her Facebook live stream in a sort of ‘mum-who’s-had-enough-of-your-shit’ type of way.
100% here for this sass from Jacinda Ardern
“Amanda: I’m sorry you’re over me, but you don’t have to stay on my Facebook Live if I’m bothering you. I’m sure there’s many other things you could do with your time that you find less irritating.”https://t.co/53RLBWtIsY
— Ashleigh Stewart (@Ash_Stewart_) December 9, 2021
At the time of writing, Scott Morrison is yet to advise the permitted number of participants in an Australian household orgy. Though if he does, we’ll be sure to update you.
