I suppose this day was inevitable. A world in which activewear reigns supreme and where across the land, thousands of Lululemon-clad women start their day with a smoothie of vegetables always seemed wildly at odds with the sport of competitive food eating. How many dogs can you cob in your gob? Not on this diet, mate.
We kid you fucking not.
The world’s first kale-eating contest was held in Buffalo, New York yesterday, where nine competitors had eight minutes to shove as much kale down their throats as humanly possibly.
If you read nothing else today, read this quote from competitor “Buffalo” Jim Reeves, who’s so good at eating food extremely quickly that he’s ranked 19th in America.
“There’s a lot of guys here who can beat me in hot dogs,” he said. “A food like kale is a great equaliser. It takes it from what’s normally a capacity contest to one more about chewing and swallowing.”
In the end, the winner was 24-year-old Gideon “The Truth” Oji, who managed to eat 25 bowls in the allocated eight minutes. His prize? A Kale cup. Filled with kale.
“I’m still hungry,” he said after the competition, holding his kale cup. “I’m going to go eat some real food.”
