Is Your Post-‘Straya Day Lie On The Best & Worst List Of Sickie Excuses?

 

Hey fam! Now, we know that many of you are chucking a sickie right now. Yeahhhhhh, we see you, you cheeky bastards. 

This was no doubt you this morning:

And this is probably you now:

Or this is you:

Look, the sickie is a rite of passage for Aussies – we consider the fake sick day off work part of our culture. So obviously, the day after Australia Day is one of the most common days for the humble sickie. ‘Straya, cunts.

So, we’ve decided to round up the most entertaining excuses we could find for someone chucking a sickie. Some of them are magical, some are downright awful, and others are… just so, SO confusing. 

First up, we have, ‘Kill ‘Em With Cuteness‘:

Or, you could go full toddler and give ‘The Over-Protective Mother’ a red hot go. (We do not take responsibility for how much you hate your life after the sickie is over and you’re by chance left with a mum that’ll ground you when you are a mostly-functional adult human):

If you’re feeling up to the acting challenge when you go back the day after ya sickie, you can always go the ‘Goodbye, Sweet Grandma‘:

If you’re willing to talk to your boss about ya slippery BM’s, you can say you did the ‘Ring of Fire’! Or if you really love chilli and enjoy the feeling of your guts rotting out your butt, you can actually for real do this:

We’re not sure if every boss would respond this way to ‘My Hair Hurts‘, but it might be worth a try?

If you reeeeeeeeally hate your job and after a day off realise you’re never going back ever ever ever, you can go straight for the ‘Mum Says I’m in Jail’:

You could always give the ‘I’ve Actually Just Died And You Can’t Prove Otherwise‘ a go, but it gets more difficult the day you go back to work:

Ah, the classic – ‘My Monkey has Anxiety!’:

But all in all, just always try to go with ‘Honesty is the Best Policy‘:

If you’re reading this while laying on the couch eating your 60th Zooper Dooper assuming that this will be the one to cure your hangover, then please – do us a favour, and tell us the worst/funniest excuse you’ve ever given when chuckin’ a good old-fashion Aussie sickie. 

Please. It would give us great pleasure if you would do this. Kindest thanks.