US Swimmers Rescued From A Very Stranded And Very Evil Inflatable Unicorn

Police in the American state of Minnesota rescued a group of women stranded on a giant inflatable unicorn this weekend, an undeniably funny circumstance which would never have happened if you fools listened to us back in March.

[jwplayer BJc4no54]

The Chisago County Sheriff’s Office states officers were passing the imaginatively-titled Fish Lake when they observed the group of bathers goofing around on the enormous floatie.

After officers approached the dock to take a photo of the scene – as you do – they realised the unicorn’s occupants were actually trapped in a bed of weeds covering the lake’s surface.

A quick toss of a rope towards the group and some gentle tugs were all it took for the women to return to shore. BUT STILL.

The successful rescue comes months after the PEDESTRIAN.TV Editorial Department issued its formal view on the new raft of giant novelty inflatables – including what appears to be the exact same unicorn model as seen in the video.

At the time, we said the unicorn “looks like it would come alive at night and flap those inflatable wings to freedom, except then as you watched it soar away into the sky, it would arc back around, bend its elongated neck so its horn was pointed right at you, and gun it right for your face.

“That is exactly what would happen.”

While the circumstances shown in the video do not precisely align with our initial assessment, we feel the general gist holds true. Giant inflatables. No bueno, folks.