If you’re single and alone, FEAR NOT: no matter what happens, no matter how often you lay awake at night wondering if there’s ever anyone out there for you, the situation is never truly hopeless because you can always marry a rock.
British artist Tracey Emin – best known for her siq neon signs – has done just that: married a rock. Not a rockstar, not a rockabilly, not The Rock; a god’s honest lump of rock, the kind you find in a garden.
Funnily enough, that’s where she and her beloved first met – outside – and they made it official during an intimate ceremony in the backyard of Tracey’s France home last summer (she wore her father’s funeral shroud as a wedding dress).
“Somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere,” she said at the pre-opening of her latest exhibition ‘I Cried Because I Love You’ in Hong Kong. “It will be there, waiting for me.”
That’s the good thing about marrying a rock: that fucker’s not going anywhere. Other pluses include not having to worry about back-chat, and fidelity being a pretty solid guarantee.
In a separate interview, she shot down criticism of her marrying an inanimate object:
“Maybe it’s not a person. But maybe it’s an anchor for me, something I can identify with”.
